I wanted to express my gratitude to this establishment. I was bullied before I started this program. The kids would meet me at lunch and take my lunch money. It got to the point where one of the kids used his skills to pick up my dog and throw it directly into the ceiling fan. I asked him why he did it and he said that he was taking lessons at UNDERWATER BASKET WEAVING CRYSTAL LAKE. I knew then that I had to take some classes. At first it was pretty difficult. I was struggling, but Tim could tell. So he pulled me into the back room and gave me what he called a private lesson. It lasted for around 5-6 hours and after that, I felt like I was the next best weaver. The next day the same kids came to my house but this time I was prepared. I took one of the kids and morphed him into a vibrator ,and with the power of the Mongolian throat singing I shoved him down the other kids throat. The kid couldnt take it and died on my front lawn. I have not disposed of him yet because he is my personal trophy for my first kill. Thanks Tim!!! They wont bother me anymore!!! Can not wait for our next private lesson.

As many of you may know, I have over come a lot. Whether that be my failing art school, or struggling ranking through the military to becoming the supreme leader of Germany. But little do people know, as it is not stated in the history books, thanks to this business, it helped me thrive as the supreme leader! Through the practice of hog calling and levitation and mind control I was able to initiate several Reichs. On top of this, I mastered gas creation and manipulation which helped me become a very well known guy. Again, I thank you for your work as it is a blessing!

The first time i saw this i was like oh hell no, but i still decided to check it out, the best decision in my life, the ceo instantly hit me up and we made an appointment.I learnt everything! i perfected the art of under water meditation and now have level 420 skills in water basketball, i ll compete in the world cup next year! Try it too!If you dont know what to do, hit up timothy-New York Times

I’ve never had service as great as that provided by this incredible company. Y’all are doin a heck of a great job :)

This man has made me an absolute SEXUAL MAGNET!! This man helped me through ptsd, depression and schizophrenia at the same time. He undoubtably taught me how to control the precipitation from women, Tim is a god among men!!! I pray to him every night because he is a true messiah🙏🏻🙏🏻

Instructor never used Kraft singles. Incredible basket weaving experience

Absolutely tremendously epic training. I can now defeat any specimen that exists.

Kids used to hate me before this class, now they just dislike me. Little do they know, I slept with their mothers! Jokes on them

Horrible basket weaving experience. Instructor only used Kraft singles

I just graduated in a record breaking 85 days thanks to this amazing program and outstanding staff!

I would have given a 5 but the waiting list is a couple years which makes me upset

People were making Nazi salutes in the auditorium(response to owner)I will make you ooze

I drowned on purpose so he could kiss me 10/10

You helped me Trump© the competition